If He's a Psychic then I'm a Wraith Queen
by Kkarrie
Summary: When John Sheppard receives an email from Earth he has to return to deal with... family.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is written purely for enjoyment. I am not making any money from this. I also do not own any characters from Psych or Stargate: Atlantis. Spoilers through season 4 of Atlantis, but as with most of my fics Beckett isn't dead nor is Weir just for the sake of she is easier to write than Carter. As for Psych this is sometime after season 2.

psychhcysp

"We have an incoming transmission from Stargate Command" Chuck the gate technician said. "It's for Col. Sheppard" he gave the Colonel a questioning look. Sheppard quickly read the message displayed on the screen and then reread it twice.

"I didn't know you had a cousin sir" Chuck said not even realizing he was reading the colonel's email.

"Thank you for prying" Sheppard said rolling his eyes at Chuck. He sighed "Well looks like I'll be taking that vacation sooner than I thought" he said running his hand through his already messy hair.

psychhcysp

"I still don't understand why I need to go with you" Rodney McKay snapped while walking around the room of John Sheppard. He paused at various objects and picked them up to look at them.

"Because" Sheppard drawled taking the picture Rodney was holding away from him and setting it gently on the table. "You wanted to come with me, and Elizabeth said you needed a vacation"

"I never said I wanted to come see your family with you" Rodney complained crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sure you did, that one time when my dad died" Sheppard said throwing various articles of clothing into the open suitcase on his bed.

"That was over a year ago" Rodney said

"So now you're saying you don't want to meet my family?" Sheppard asked not because he wanted to know the answer but because he knew if he didn't keep his end of the conversation going it would turn into one of Rodney's rants.

"I never said that either" McKay pouted. "I just don't know if I want to use my vacation time to go see your family"

"As opposed to your family?" Sheppard asked "Besides this isn't coming out of your normal vacation time. McKay you haven't had a day off in almost a year, Elizabeth is practically going to shove you through the gate to get you to leave."

"Well…." McKay said running out of things to argue about. "I'm not even packed yet" he got a smug look on his face "I can't go if I don't have any clothes" Sheppard smirked.

"Why do you think I've kept you busy for the past three hours?" he asked still smirking. McKay's look of smugness turned into one of panic. Just then John's door chimed. On the other side was Dr. Zalenka holding a large duffle bag.

"Here are your clothes Rodney" Zalenka said smiling broadly. "Have fun on the beach." With that he left, but behind him he could hear Rodney's protests

"The beach? Do you know what they have at the beach? Sand and salt water and octopuses and whales and more sand…….." Sheppard just smiled and carried his duffle bag as well as McKay's out to the gateroom.

"Have fun" Dr. Elizabeth Weir said smiling a little at the grumpy look on Rodney's face.

"Oh, we will" Sheppard said "See you in a couple of weeks" he waved and then pulled McKay through the gate with him. McKay was still listing all the dangers the beach held for them.

psychhcysp

It was a beautiful morning in Santa Barbara California. The sun was just above the trees and shone brightly through the windows of the police station. It splayed across the desk of Head Detective Carlton Lassiter giving Shawn Spencer a perfect place to bask in the sun.

"What the Hell are you doing Spencer?" Lassiter's voice complained when he saw the department's psychic laying across his desk. Without bothering to open his eyes Shawn answered his question.

"The psychic forces are being very mysterious today Lassie" He yawned "They told me I should either take a nap on your desk or I should rap about pineapples" he shrugged his shoulders "This one seemed more enjoyable." He motioned to his lounging position.

"Just get off my desk Spencer" Lassiter growled. Shawn got up and stretched. He turned to say something to Lassiter probably a smart remark and then paused.

Lassiter looked over to the entrance to the police station to see what Shawn was looking at and saw his partner Juliet O'Hara talking to two men. One was tall and cocky with messy hair, while the other clearly hadn't seen the light of day in a while and looked incredibly bored.

"Who's that over with O'Hara" Lassiter said "Not that I care" he added. His voice sounded bored but he kept glancing up in curiosity at the three of them. Shawn smiled

"but Lassie Face you do care"

"Shouldn't you know who they are anyways Spencer? You're the one who's psychic" He shuffled some papers around on his desk.

"Possibly, but I will admit I did not see a tall dark stranger with amazing hair visiting Jules today" Shawn kept starring at the man's hair "Especially not the one who is my cousin." He added distractedly walking over. As he got closer he could hear snippets of their conversation.

"I'll find Shawn right away but I need you to sign in first" Juliet was saying her voice flustered and stressed.

"It's okay Jules you don't have to find me" Shawn said sticking himself into the middle of the three of them.

"Shawn there you are" Juliet said her voice relieved

"Shawn, about time you showed up. You said to meet you here." the one with the amazing hair said.

"Right…." Shawn said trailing off. "Funny thing, I don't really remember ever telling you to meet me here. Especially since we haven't talked in like eight years"

"So we came all the way here for nothing? We could have gone to the beach on Atl- " The other man complained. He was cut off by the first man who shoved his foot into his shin. "Ow Sheppard watch the feet"

"I'm sorry John, but I have no clue where that letter came from." Shawn reiterated. Sheppard shrugged.

"No problem. I needed the time off anyway. We'll just have to entertain ourselves while you're at work and then get dinner tonight." He gave Juliet a lopsided smile. Juliet smiled back but still had a puzzled look on her face. At this point Lassiter could take it no more and came over to see what was going on.

"What's going on O'Hara?" he said his voice gruff and serious

"Oh Carlton, this is Shawn's cousin Lt. Col. John Sheppard and his friend…"

"Dr. Rodney McKay" McKay said cutting her off. "John can I talk to you for a second" he grabbed Sheppard's arm and pulled him over to the potted plant by a pillar. Shawn watched them go. _They both looked exhausted, what time zone could they have come from._

"John's a test pilot for the airforce" Juliet was saying to Lassiter.

_Test pilot? _Shawn thought to himself. _That's not what he was doing last time I heard and that Dr. McKay is no test pilot. There's got to be more to this than meets the eye._

"What's the problem McKay?" Sheppard said once they were out of ear shot. "Who cares about the email being a mistake? We're in California" he gave McKay a friendly punch in the arm "Relax a little bit"

"Well I'm sorry, I've just been in fear of my life from alien vampires for the past four years" Sheppard shushed him.

"The walls have ears. Besides you were napping on the ride from the airport so you missed the giant billboard, there's a Sci-Fi con this weekend." Sheppard smirked. "I thought we could go check out the Wormhole X-Treme table. I hear they've got a new alien this season." McKay snorted in laughter.

"and by check out the table you mean make fun of it because we live it on a daily basis." Sheppard smiled

"Something like that. I bet that Juliet has a friend or two she could introduce you too."

"I wouldn't mind being introduced to Juliet" McKay said giving a glance over John's shoulder. Sheppard punched him in the arm this time with the intent to hurt. "Ow hey!" McKay said rubbing his arm. Sheppard turned and went back to where Lassiter, Juliet and Shawn were standing staring at the two men talking. Sheppard plastered a big smile on his face.

"Looks like we're staying in California for a few days" Shawn gave a half hearted smile as well.

"Yeah, I was just about to go meet up with Gus and then head out to work on that big case" McKay rolled his eyes

"Super, police work"

"Well you could come for that stuff. Or!" His eyes lit up like he just had a great idea. "Johnny why don't you and Robert"

"Rodney" McKay said correcting him

"I've heard it both ways" Shawn said. Sheppard could practically hear McKay's eyes rolling upward behind him. "Why don't you guys go see my dad?" Sheppard held up his hands.

"I don't think that's such a great idea" he said protesting as Shawn started pushing him out the door. "The last time I talked to your dad was when he pulled me over for speeding right after I graduated high school."

"All the more reason" Shawn said "You guys have a lot of catching up to do"

"It was nice to meet you" Sheppard called back to O'Hara and Lassiter, but mostly to O'Hara.

"Nice to meet you too!" Juliet called after them. Carlton gave her an exasperated look. "What?" she protested. He shrugged and went back to straighten his desk.


	2. Chapter 2

Once they were outside the police station Shawn turned to Sheppard.

"What are you doing here John?" he asked "After eight years you randomly show up saying I asked you to meet me here"

"You did" Sheppard said leaning up against the tiny rental car he and McKay had gotten. "You sent me an email that said there was a family medical emergency which I would regret if I didn't come" Shawn got a confused look on his face.

"I have no idea what that even means" he ranted. Sheppard shrugged.

"Whatever, I wasn't looking forward to hanging out with you and Gus for my vacation anyways."

"Who's Gus?" McKay asked. Sheppard sighed.

"Gus is Shawn's best friend from grade school. They're like the dynamic duo only not dynamic"

"That is only in your opinion. In my opinion Gus' and mine friendship is amazing and I bet you're just jealous 'cause the only friend you have here right now is a doctor. What's he going to do save your life?" McKay gave Sheppard a sly glance and Sheppard smirked a little thinking about all the times McKay really had saved his life. "Now c'mon guys I hate inside jokes and we're even outside" Shawn protested.

"Right" Sheppard said still smirking back at Rodney and then turning his attention to Shawn. "Now in that email you say you never sent it said we could crash at your place" Shawn's face fell.

"Ummm yeah about that…. I don't really have room for you guys…. I guess you could crash at the office"

"You have an office?" McKay asked incredulously.

"Yup you guys can take me over there too. Gus is my ride most of the time and he had to go to work today. Boy I bet he'll be surprised" Shawn said getting into the small backseat of the car. Sheppard drove through the streets of Santa Barbara trying to follow Shawn's many directions and finally arrived outside a small building. The three men got out of the car and stretched.

"Psych?" Sheppard said reading the window.

"Yeah" Shawn said hoping his voice was sure enough to convince Sheppard. "That's what I do for the police department. I'm a psychic consultant" McKay snorted in laughter and Sheppard just gave Shawn a doubtful look.

"Since when have you been psychic?"

"Since always" Shawn said pulling out a key for the office.

"or since you solved one too many crimes by using those deductive skills your dad made you learn and then had to explain to the cops why" Sheppard said.

"It could have been that too" Shawn admitted. "but the only people who know are my dad and Gus" Sheppard sighed and hoisted his duffle bag onto his shoulder.

"Fine, let's just go inside. I'm tired and you have no idea what time zone we came from"

"Dad said you were transferred to Colorado the last time he heard"

"Yeah… well I kind of still am" Shawn gave Sheppard a questioning look but before he could ask more questions a familiar voice met his ears.

"Who is this Shawn?" the annoyed voice of Burton Guster was a common occurrence in Shawn's life, but he hadn't heard him so irritated in a long while, at least not since he'd gotten them locked in the museum over night. Sheppard and McKay turned to see Gus getting out of his blue echo which was parked next to their rental car. "John?" he asked recognizing Shawn's cousin.

"Hey Gus" Sheppard said waving at him. "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothin' much" Gus said half smiling at Sheppard and then glaring at Shawn. "Shawn, can I talk to you for a second?" He grabbed Shawn's arm and pulled him off the side not unlike what McKay had done to Sheppard at the police station.

"Oh Gus," Shaw said out loud pretending his friend was just teasing him. "You guys go on in" he tossed the keys to Sheppard. McKay rolled his eyes once more at Sheppard's cousin and then followed Sheppard into the office.

"At least military training taught you to be clean" McKay said stepping over piles on newspapers and magazines" Sheppard murmured in agreement and tossed his duffle bag on the floor next to the couch.

"I just can't figure out who sent the email. Shawn says he didn't so he's either lying or someone else tried to contact me using his name"

"Are you sure it was from Shawn?" McKay asked

"Pretty sure since it was signed Shawn Spencer" Sheppard said picking through the pile of mail. "Why is he getting Vogue?" he held up the fashion magazine for McKay to see.

psychhcysp

Outside Gus was grilling Shawn on why his cousin and cousin's friend were now in their office.

"Shawn, John is emotionally unstable. After that incident in Afghanistan maybe he's suffering from post traumatic stress?"

"Post traumatic stress? Seriously Gus, don't be an overweight Chihuahua. He's not suffering from any post traumatic stress." Shawn said throwing his hands in the air. "He's simply decided that I sent him an email or a letter about a family emergency." He laughed. "Like I would do that." Gus looked away and didn't meet Shawn's eyes. "Gus?" Shawn asked his smile disappearing. "I wouldn't would I?"

"Look I didn't even mean to send it. I typed it up as a joke, but then I guess it got mixed up in my pile of stuff at work. I just meant it to get back at you for that museum thing."

"Ah yes, with King Rock-em-Sock-em."

"Rahmentottem Shawn" Gus corrected him.

"Whatever" Shawn said "He's gonna be pissed when he finds out it was you."

"Which he won't unless you tell him" Gus said giving Shawn a meaningful look. "Now let's go inside before they go through all our stuff"

"Shawn what are you doing outside?" Shawn's ears once again heard a familiar voice. This time belonging to his dad.

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"Who's the old guy out there with your cousin?" McKay asked watching the trio outside the office window. Sheppard was clearing space off and around the couch so at least one of them would be able to sleep. Sheppard glanced out the window and groaned.

"That's my Uncle Henry, he hates my guts" he said flopping down on the couch next to McKay.

"Super" McKay said half-heartedly. The three men outside came through the door. Gus headed for the bathroom leaving Shawn to explain the whole mess to his dad who was glaring daggers at Sheppard.

"Henry" Sheppard said more to break the silence than by way of actual greeting.

"John" Henry replied just as coldly. "I wouldn't have recognized you except for the hair. It never laid down flat did it? I didn't know you were going to be in town either." Sheppard glanced at Shawn.

"Didn't really know I would be either until a couple days ago." He said ignoring the remark about his hair. "Now since we've said hello I think it's time we said good-bye." He turned to Rodney. "C'mon McKay we'll stay at a hotel."

"If you stay at a hotel I can't get you into the sci-fi convention tomorrow" Shawn said. Sheppard stopped and looked at him.

"How'd you know we wanted to go the convention" Rodney asked.

"Ummm I'm psychic" Shawn said pointing to his head. Henry gave him a smack on the back of his head. "Owww, okay not psychic but you were reading my Red Phantom comic and you practically scream ultra geek"

"Even then" Sheppard said not arguing with the fact that McKay was the biggest nerd on the planet. "How are you going to get us in?"

"I have connections with George"

"George?" McKay asked "Who is he some janitor?"

"No, he just happens to be the icon of Star Trek Asians everywhere."

"You know George Takei?" Sheppard asked his voice doubtful.

"George Takei? Shawn that guy wants to kill us from last year" Gus said coming out of the bathroom.

"You pissed off Mr. Sulu?" Rodney said and looked like he wanted to find out more about it when Sheppard grabbed his arm.

"C'mon McKay. We'll see them in the morning at the convention center." He stared at Shawn. "10am sharp" Shawn gave a ridiculous salute to Sheppard

"Aye, Aye sir!" he said grinning. Sheppard shook his head and then took McKay and their things out to the rental car. Henry didn't say a word until they had pulled away.

"Shawn if you don't get those two into the convention John will kill you and mount your head on his wall."

psychhcysp

Sheppard and McKay checked into a nearby hotel. The clerk behind the counter smirked causing McKay to launch into a rant about how it was perfectly normal for two men to go on vacation together.

"We are even getting a room with _two_ beds!" he protested to Sheppard and Sheppard pushed him towards the elevator. They flopped down on separate beds. McKay on the one near the bathroom since according to him the mattress was better. "You don't really get along with Shawn do you?" McKay said glancing over at Sheppard. Sheppard let out a hollow laugh.

"What makes you ask that?" He took a sip of the beer he'd picked up at the convenience store on the way over.

"I know tolerance when I see it" McKay said trying to look cool while sipping his own beer. "I practically wrote the book on tolerating people" Sheppard laughed again, but McKay ignored him and continued. "What happened that made you guys get so hostile"

"I wouldn't use the word hostile" Sheppard said "It's more a mutual annoyance. Shawn is ridiculously unreliable. He's had too many jobs to count since he graduated and even now his job is built on deceiving people. He and his dad really didn't get along and I didn't either, but I guess his dad was at least glad when I joined the air force cause it kept me out of trouble. So Shawn resented the fact that I was seen as 'successful' by his dad" He sighed. "Then we just didn't talk until my mom's funeral and even then it was a wave across the cemetery." He turned to look at McKay "Are you even listening?" but McKay had fallen asleep the beer still in his hand. It was dangerously close to tipping off the bed. Sheppard smiled and grabbed it and set it gently on the table.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Sheppard pulled up in front of the Psych office at 10am sharp. Shawn came bounding out of the door wearing the most ridiculous Red Phantom t-shirt ever, it appeared to be glow in the dark and had glitter on it, followed by Gus who was wearing his usual button down shirt, today's was lavender, and slacks.

"Shawn I can't believe you're blowing off the case with Juliet and Lassiter to go to the Sci-Fi convention." Gus was saying to Shawn as they got in the backseat of the car.

"What are you guys working on?" Sheppard asked his curiosity piqued.

"It's some case about a guy who's murdering people like the end of the newest Red Phantom comics. He's committing the murders the day before the comics are released. I call him the Komic Book Killer. Komic is with a K so it's less scary" Shawn said boredom filling his voice

"You're working on the case of a serial killer and you're here with us?" McKay said panic filling his voice. "What if it was a mob hit and now they've seen us and our car"

"Relax McKay there's no mob in Santa Barbara" Sheppard said

"Yeah" Shawn said "Besides the cops are headed over to the convention too. There's a whole Red Phantom table there. I say Red Phantom because I'm 99.9% sure that's the guy who's killing people. The map says it's right next to the Wormhole X-Treme table on the first floor."

"Do you guys get that show where you're stationed?" Gus asked "I think it's fabulous. That Col. Danning is amazing" Shawn scoffed.

"Gus please, wormholes? Traveling through space? Besides nobody has hair like that Danning character it's ridiculous" Sheppard looked at McKay and they shared a secretive smirk. "Again with the inside jokes?" Shawn complained. "By the way you should have taken a right back there for the convention center." Sheppard cursed and then turned around and after a few more curses parked in the convention center's parking lot.

"Now, if only I could remember the convention guy who helped us out last time." Shawn said heading towards the main door. He walked so quickly that by the time the Sheppard, McKay and Gus all caught up with him they found him in conversation with someone.

"So you see" Shawn was saying. "My friends Magic Head and I" he motioned to Gus "need to get in there. The police want us to try to solve this thing as quickly as possible." The man nodded.

"Of course, as events coordinator I only want things to go smoothly. Your show was a big hit last year and I was hoping you'd be lined up for this year." He was jittery and McKay did a double take as they walked past him into the building. He nudged Sheppard. "Is that Zalenka?" he whispered Sheppard glanced over at the man.

"Couldn't be" he whispered back but his voice didn't seem too sure. Once they were inside Shawn took charge of the situation.

"Alright, Gus you and I need to stop by the police scene. Johnny you and Rod can walk around. We'll meet back here by five and call it good" He waved and headed off with Gus.

"Five?" McKay said "We don't even have badges. What if we get kicked out?" Sheppard shrugged.

"Who's gonna kick us out? We'll just say we're with the cops." He headed off in the same direction as Shawn followed closely by McKay. It took them the better part of two hours but they finally found the Wormhole X-Treme table. It probably would have taken a shorter amount of time but McKay kept stopping to check out other tables and Sheppard kept stopping to check out other girls. From the looks of it they'd be able to talk to Col. Danning himself if they were lucky. They got in line and were rather near the display gate that had been set up. McKay was looking at the details meticulously. Sheppard looked around the table. Next to them was the Red Phantom table and who else would be there but Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara from the previous morning as well as Shawn and Gus. Shawn for some odd reason had his hands wrapped around Gus' bald head.

"I can see it" Shawn was saying. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be looking into the distance. "The Komic Book Killer was a man who didn't love the comics, he was obsessed" Shawn's eyes snapped open and he stared at the man behind the table. "You were jealous of all the attention the Green Spirit was getting since the last convention. How easy it would be for the Red Phantom franchise to pick up if people started dying like the comic books." The guy behind the table got a panicked look in his face.

"How could you know?" he protested.

"All right, I've heard enough" drawled Lassiter "cuff him" he commanded two of the uniformed policemen there with them. The guy didn't seem to like that idea, he launched himself over the table and before anyone had a chance to act he had his arm around Shawn's throat and a gun in his free hand

"Nobody move or the psychic gets it!" he shouted his voice cracking a little. People scattered away from the table and the nearby tables including the Wormhole X-Treme table. The guy backed up slowly not even realizing Sheppard and McKay were standing right behind him.

"Let him go!" Lassiter shouted "You're already in a lot of trouble don't make it worse for yourself" It was moments like this where Sheppard wished he had his P-90 or at least a Wraith stunner. In the midst of the chaos something else happened. The gate behind them started dialing up. The Red Phantom guy turned distracted by the noise. Gus in a feat of courage rushed him and grabbed Shawn. The momentum propelled them backwards into Sheppard and McKay and sent all four of them through the gate.

psychhcysp

"Ma'am we have an unscheduled off world activation" Chuck said staring at the readouts the computer was giving him. Weir looked at him sharply.

"Any IDC?" She asked. Chuck shook his head.

"No ma'am but it appears to be coming from Earth"

"Let them through, but I want a team of marines down by the gate room" Chuck nodded and opened the gate shield. Maj. Lorne and his men stationed themselves around the gate ready for anything. Most of them were expecting a Genii invasion, a few were thinking Wraith. None of them were expecting to see Col. Sheppard and Dr. McKay fall through the gate wearing shorts and t-shirts. Sheppard stood up and brushed himself off.

"Major?" he said looking at Lorne and then looked around the gate room.

"How'd we end up here?" McKay said "That's physically impossible"

"Shawn, what are we doing here?" Gus' voice hit both their ears.

"No idea Gus. What exactly is here?" Shawn's voice answered. McKay looked at Sheppard and without turning around they both knew what had happened.

"Crap" Sheppard said

psychhcysp

AN: Things are getting exciting! I really couldn't resist the fact that David Nykl who plays Zalenka was in the Psych episode at Comic Con.


	4. Chapter 4

"People just don't disappear Detective Lassiter" Lassiter cowered slightly as Chief Karen Vick yelled at him. "They either are here or they are not, but they don't disappear."

"The perpetrator was holding Spencer. There was a noise from that table over there" he pointed to the Wormhole X-treme table which was now in shreds thanks to the gate flush. "Mr. Guster rushed to perpetrator and the momentum propelled both of them back into the table. There was some kind of explosion."

"and now you're missing three civilians, two of whom were employed by the department, the third by the United States Air Force and a Colonel from the United States Air Force" Chief Vick finished for him.

"Excuse me Chief?" a nervous looking Buzz McNab came up to were the chief was berating Lassiter.

"What is it McNab?" Lassiter snarked.

"There's a man here to see Chief Vick. He says he's with the air force" He pointed over to where the crime tape ended and an older man dressed in a dress uniform was standing there staring at the three cops. "He says his name is Gen. Jack O'Neill and he told me to tell you that it's O'Neill with two L's" Buzz said still nervous. The chief sighed.

"Great, they some how found out about it already" She plastered a smile on her face and went over to talk to O'Neill.

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Shawn and Gus were put in the conference room while Sheppard and McKay talked to Weir.

"Where do you think we are?" Shawn asked wandering around the round room. Gus was sitting at the table with his hands folded in front of him.

"I don't know Shawn, but they all seem to know John and Rodney very well."

"Maybe this is some kind of secret military base" Shawn said "Maybe this is area 51!" he said the last part in an excited whisper.

"Area 51 is in the desert Shawn. This is obviously not in the desert. Can't you smell the salt in the air?" Shawn sniffed and then sneezed.

"No, I seem to be allergic to Alien dust"

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"Civilians John?" Dr. Weir said disproval evident in her voice

"It's not like we brought them here on purpose. I'm still trying to figure out how we got from a stand off in a Sci-Fi convention to Atlantis. I thought there was only supposed to be one working gate on a planet at a time." Sheppard said

"There is" McKay said looking over something on a tablet in his hands. "According to these transmissions the Deadalous has been sending us Earth hasn't been able to dial out it's stargate for the past couple of days and no one has been able to dial in." He looked up at Sheppard and Weir. "We need to relay a message and get them to shut down that rouge gate." He put his hand up to contact Zalenka on his radio, but didn't find it there. "I need my radio back too" Elizabeth looked at both his and Sheppard's attire.

"Yes…." She said "and if you two could change your clothes as well" McKay nodded absentmindedly. Sheppard nodded too.

"About Shawn…." He started to say

"Get them some food and then they should be confined to guest quarters. If they ask anything about what happened only tell them what they need to know." She gave Sheppard a stern look and he gave her a rueful smile.

"C'mon McKay" he said "Let's go get changed."

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Shawn was now lying on the conference table resting. Gus had gotten up and was pacing back and forth.

"How long can they keep us here?" Gus said. Shawn was going to answer but then the doors opened. On the other side was Sheppard this time dressed in his uniform.

"I thought you guys might want some lunch" he said smiling. Shawn jumped up from the table.

"Lunch sounds awesome. C'mon Gus" Gus followed them reluctantly.

"Shawn how can you eat at a time like this?"

"Easy, you take the food and put it in your mouth and then chew, swallow and repeat." When they got to the commissary Shawn sniffed. "Now that smells delicious. I thought we were going to have to eat prison food or whatever you serve prisoners"

"It's not the best stuff in the world, but McKay likes it well enough" Sheppard said.

"Speaking of the good doctor" Shawn said looking around "Where is he?"

"Working" Sheppard said "He's trying to figure out how to get you guys home. Now sit here and I'll get you some stuff to eat" He made Shawn and Gus sit down at one of the tables off to the side. They were sitting there by themselves, but not too far away were two marines both carrying P-90s. Sheppard left and Shawn leaned across the table to talk to Gus.

"I mean seriously Gus, what is up with all the security and do you see that guy over there. He's like a yeti" Gus looked over to where Shawn was motioning to. He gulped that had to be the biggest man Gus had ever seen in his life. Gus didn't mean to stare but he just couldn't take his eyes off the man. The big man looked up and saw Gus who immediately looked down at the table. He didn't look up even when he felt the presence of the bigger man above him.

"You got a problem?" the gruff voice said. Gus shook his head. "What about you?" the voice said turning to Shawn. Shawn smiled.

"Not a problem, but I am getting a psychic vibe that you're a very lonely person." The man shook his head slightly and then grabbed Shawn by the front of his t-shirt. The marines started, but Sheppard got back just in time.

"Ronan" he said scolding the big man. "Put 'im down" Ronan gave Sheppard an exasperated look. He turned his attention back to Shawn.

"Don't look at me" he said and then practically threw Shawn back into his chair and stalked off.

"Don't worry about it. It'll be okay big guy. You'll make friends soon enough with an attitude like that" Shawn called after Ronan. Sheppard put himself between Ronan and Shawn as Ronan threw one last look over his shoulder.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed Shawn?" he asked "Don't make Ronan mad or he will kill you."

"What is he going to strangle me with that hair of his?" Shawn thought for a minute "Although it is pretty cool, what do you think Gus. Could I pull off the dreads?" Gus made a small noise. "Oh c'mon man, we're going to be okay" It could have been the near death experience, or the fact that it was the second of such experiences that day that made Gus snap, but he grabbed the bowl of jello that was on his tray and just threw it at Shawn's head.

"I'd like to go take a nap" he said to Sheppard each word articulated carefully. Sheppard nodded and one of the marine's escorted Gus to some guest quarters.

"Dude, don't leave me in a huff" Shawn said, but Gus didn't turn around. Sheppard sat down across from Shawn as Shawn dug into his lunch, completely ignoring the jello that was now smeared across his face and shirt. It took a few minutes for Sheppard to decide what he wanted to ask Shawn first but before he could talk Shawn started talking.

"So, is this area 51?"

"No"

"Was that guy Ronan the same guy who played Chewbacca in the Star Wars movies?"

"No"

"Are we going to be leaving anytime soon?"

"No"

"Are we on Earth?"

"No" Sheppard said already growing tired of the barrage of Shawn's questions. When he heard himself answer no he looked up to meet Shawn's excited eyes.

"No we're not!??!" Shawn exclaimed loudly. "You work for the Men in Black or something like that?"

"Shawn it just slipped out you were asking other questions that the answer was no. Of course we're still on earth" Sheppard gave Shawn a smile, but he doubted Shawn believed it for a second. McKay came running up to their table. Sheppard knew it was important because for once in his life Rodney McKay was out of breath.

"John" he said giving a glance at Shawn and then turning his full attention to Sheppard. "The main tower just radioed me. They picked up a handful of Wraith darts flying over the planet. We don't have enough power in the ZedPM to have both the shield and the chair active, and I don't think there's time to put up the cloak." Sheppard leapt to his feet.

"I'll use the chair. I think we'll have a better shot. Get as many jumpers in the air as possible" He turned to the marine standing next to Shawn. "and get him to those guest quarters." He then turned to Shawn. "and stay there or so help me you'll never see Juliet again" Shawn thought about making a wise crack but McKay had just said something about Wraith, whatever those were, flying over the _planet_. Yes he had specified planet.


	5. Chapter 5

"Well I'm certainly not going to tell him" Chief Vick said having a whisper argument with Lassiter right outside her office door while Gen. O'Neill waited for her on the other side. "You were there. You take O'Hara out to his house and explain to him where his nephew, son and their two friends have got to." She glared at Lassiter one more time before going into her office.

"I'm sorry about that General" she said taking a seat behind her desk. O'Neill looked up from where he'd been looking a newspaper.

"Oh, it's alright. What's a 9 letter word for a fruit of hospitality?"

"I'm sorry?" the Chief said not sure she'd heard his question correctly.

"Oh, never mind got it. Pineapple, which makes sense because then 19 across can be payday" O'Neill smiled to himself.

"General?" the chief said trying again to understand what exactly he was here for. He looked up.

"Sorry, got distracted by the crossword" He showed her the newspaper which he'd been holding and she could see what looked like ¾ of a finished crossword. "Now down to business, I believe you think you've lost three men"

"Four" she corrected him.

"right, McKay was here too" he said smirking slightly.

"Do you know Dr. McKay and Col. Sheppard?" she asked

"Yes, quite well" he answered "I also know where they are as well as the two civilians. There's no need to fret Chief. We'll get them back to you safe and sound in a little less than two weeks."

"Two weeks?" the chief said shocked "Where are they?"

"I'm afraid that's a government secret ma'am and that'll have to do as an answer" Gen. O'Neill gave her an apologetic look. "Just rest assured that they are in the best of hands"

psychhcysp

The marine led Shawn to the guest rooms he'd be sharing with Gus. He went in to find Gus lying on the bed. He was flat on his back staring at the ceiling with wide open eyes.

"What are you doing?" Shawn asked him

"Pretending this is all a bad dream. I am beginning to think I'm crazy instead because I've pinched myself 5 times and nothing has changed. What's going on out there? I can hear a lot of running."

"Oh nothing much, we're just being attacked by aliens." Shawn said nonchalantly. Gus bolted upright.

"Aliens Shawn? As in not from earth creatures aliens?" Shawn nodded.

"John said they were called Wraith or something like that"

"Shawn we have to get out of here."

"Dude, we're on an alien planet and we don't even really know how we got here. I say we wait until John gets back and talk with him about it." Shawn put a hand up to his own mouth. "Was that me being sensible? Ewww never want to do that again. New plan, we go out and see what's going on. Maybe we can help" He opened the door to their quarters. The two marines from before were still there.

"Mr. Spencer you need to remain in your quarters. There's an emergency" one of them said holding up his hand.

"Yes and the emergency is one in the fashion department. Those jackets are awful" Shawn said pointing to the standard military grey uniform jackets. Gus poked his head out from behind Shawn.

"Shawn, now's not the time to be bothering these men" he said giving the marines an apologetic look. He grabbed Shawn's shirt sleeve and was going to pull him back in the room when a loud crash shook the platform that led to their room. All four men standing there fell to the ground momentarily disoriented. One of the marine's groaned holding a hand to his head. The other checked on him briefly and then radioed.

"This is Aarons. We have a hit near the guest quarters. Goosen has an injury to his head." He listened for a moment. "No we'll wait here." He stood up and turned to Shawn and Gus. "Help will be here in a second" he gave them a reassuring smile and then suddenly seized up and fell to the ground. Behind him was something the likes of which Shawn and Gus had only seen in the movies. A tall man, was it a man, with long white hair and greenish skin was standing holding a strange looking weapon. Gus let out a small girly scream and started backing away. The thing lunged at them and managed to grab Shawn around the throat. It sniffed.

"Yes, fear and fresh, young life" it snarled, the things voice was harsh and raspy. For once in his life Shawn Spencer couldn't find a smart response to his life being threatened. The thing hissed and then brought up it's free hand. Shawn briefly saw an opening on the hand almost like a mouth. Then the thing collapsed on top of Shawn. Shawn was still in a little bit of shock when the thing was hauled off of him. Standing over him was Ronan holding a giant pistol looking gun. He gruffly pulled Shawn to his feet. Shawn checked to make sure all his important parts were there and then turned to Ronan.

"Thanks big guy" he said truly happy to be alive. Ronan shrugged.

"I just hate the Wraith more than you" Gus came up next to Shawn and stared at the wraith.

"What is that thing?"

"It's a Wraith" Ronan said shooting it again to make sure it was completely dead. A flurry of people ran up behind them.

"How many are injured?" a man with a Scottish accent asked, he was wearing a white lab coat and carrying a small bag. Shawn waved over to the direction of Goosen and Aarons.

"Those two are. Gus and I are fine though" He said "Although I may need a new Red Phantom shirt" Gus cringed as he saw Shawn's shirt. The blast from Ronan's gun had killed the wraith but had also caused a lot of bleeding which had gotten on Shawn after the wraith fell on him.

"Doc check them both out just in case" Sheppard said "Shawn this is Dr. Carson Beckett. Doc this is my cousin Shawn and his friend Gus"

"Pleased to meet ye both" Carson said checking the head wound on Goosen. "Send this one to the infirmary. I need to watch him overnight for a concussion. Aarons should be okay once the stunner wears off" He turned his full attention to Shawn and Gus. "Ach, Lad get that shirt off, Wraith blood is disgusting. Colonel, do ye have another shirt for him to wear?"

"Yeah, just make sure they're fine" Sheppard said trying to sound concerned, but no more than the second in command of a top secret air force operation should sound. Shawn peeled off the shirt and Carson took it by the tips of his fingers with a look on his face that said he wanted to toss it in the burning rubble from where the city had been hit. "Let's get out the good doctor's way" Sheppard said motioning for Gus and Shawn to follow him. He led them through a maze of corridors and took two separate lifts before Sheppard led them into his own quarters. "There's a shower in there" he pointed at one door. He grabbed a t-shirt out of his dresser and tossed it to Shawn. The 15 minutes it took for Shawn to wash all the jello and blood off himself were the most awkward 15 minutes Sheppard had dealt with in a long time. He was never really friends with Gus and only knew him through Shawn. Shawn came out of the bathroom wearing a plain black t-shirt and Sheppard's shorts. He was toweling his hair.

"John do you have any gel or something? Cause since I didn't think I was going to be traveling today I didn't pack any" Sheppard shook his head.

"This is all natural" He ran a hand through his hair.

"Now that we're done talking about hair" Gus said "Can I get some lunch. I really didn't eat mine before" Shawn put a hand on his friends shoulder.

"Don't worry Gus, I ate some of yours too. However I could go for a delicious smoothie right now" Sheppard sighed and then led the two back down to the commissary. He was stopped along the way by marines and scientists wanting approval for repair work that needed to be done. When he ran into Zalenka it was Shawn and Gus' turn to do a double take.

"Colonel, Dr. Weir wanted me to tell you that we severely drained the ZPM during our encounter. Dr. McKay is advising that we try to conserve as much energy as possible in case of another attack." Zalenka was briefing Sheppard as they walked down the hall. Shawn and Gus were staring at everything. Still not believing what they were seeing.

"Not even dialing back to Earth?" Sheppard said. Zalenka shook his head.

"Even if we had the energy, the gate at Stargate Command is still down." Sheppard sighed.

"How far out is the Deadalous?"

"A week at least"

"Okay" Sheppard said clearly frustrated. "I'll be up to see Elizabeth as soon as I get these guys settled." Zalenka nodded and headed off in another direction. Once again Sheppard made Shawn and Gus sit at a table and then brought them food. "Stay here and eat. I'm going to try to find someone to watch you while I do my work." He left. Shawn looked at Gus.

"Does it seem like he's treating us like 8 year olds?"

"Shawn we are on a top secret alien outpost. I think he has the right to treat us like children." Gus snapped. "Especially you" he mumbled the last part. Shawn looked hurt.

"Gus, don't be a stale piece of coffee cake." There was a loud clatter as two trays hit the table between Shawn and Gus. Ronan stood above them.

"Sheppard had to go do something" he said "He wanted me to keep and eye on you" Gus gulped, but Shawn just smiled.

"We'll have lots of time to work on that friendship thing." He dug into the tray that had landed in front of him.


	6. Chapter 6

Lassiter and O'Hara pulled up outside the beach house where Henry Spencer lived. They sat in the car for a moment.

"I don't think he's going to take it well" Juliet said breaking the silence. "Maybe I should do the talking." She looked at Lassiter. "I don't mean to be rude, but let's face it I wouldn't really call you the master of tact." Lassiter opened his mouth but O'Hara just kept giving her reasons. "I mean that whole thing with the American Duos judge and the FTD agents, I mean the list just goes on and-"

"O'Hara!" Lassiter practically yelled. "I am fine with you doing the talking" Juliet flashed him an apologetic smile and then they got out of the car. Lassiter rang the door bell and Henry Spencer answered the door holding a butcher knife and a knife sharpener. Juliet's eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"Can I help you detectives?" he asked leaning against the door frame. Lassiter looked at Juliet.

"Lassiter has something to tell you about Shawn" she blurted out. Lassiter glared at Juliet but couldn't really start an argument with her now.

"Well, what is it?" Henry asked.

"Sir, I'm sorry to inform you but your son, his friend Burton Guster and your nephew John Sheppard as well as Col. Sheppard's friend Dr. McKay disappeared under mysterious circumstances this afternoon"

"Disappeared?" Henry said "Into thin air?"

"That's what it looks like sir"

"Oh cut the crap detective. I'm a cop." Henry said. He was trying to be gruff, but there was a worried look in his eye that O'Hara had never seen before.

psychhcysp

Shawn was practically skipping down the halls of Atlantis.

"Gus, we have to check this place out. We're only going to be here a week." He turned to walk backwards down the hall when Gus didn't respond. "Are you still upset about the being in a different galaxy thing?"

"Galaxy, Shawn no one said anything about a different galaxy"

"I figured it out. Well mostly because I overheard someone say something about 'just another day in the Pegasus galaxy', but I figured it out." Gus clamped his mouth shut again refusing to talk to Shawn. "Oh c'mon man, it won't be that bad."

"Shawn we were almost shot at by a crazy comic book writer/serial killer, eaten by aliens and now we're stuck here for a week. I'm not exactly happy about that."

"Ronan?" a female voice said joining the three men in the hall. Shawn and Gus turned to see the most beautiful woman either of them had seen. At least that's what they thought at the time. She had darker skin and brown hair that was pulled back from her face.

"This is Teyla" Ronan said holstering the gun Shawn and Gus hadn't eve n notice he'd pulled out to shoot them with. "This is Shawn and Gus"

"Yes, Col. Sheppard told me to come and find you. He seemed to think Ronan would have shot you by now." She laughed a little at this, but Gus' eyes widened.

"Shawn, I did not come across a galaxy to be shot by a caveman" he protested. Teyla was more observant than Ronan and placed herself between the two friends.

"Perhaps Gus would like to come with me and see some of the city and Shawn can stay with Ronan" she suggested. Gus smiled and seemed to like that idea. He ran a hand over his head in an attempt to smooth back his hair. Shawn rolled his eyes.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea" Gus said "I'd love for you to show me the city." Teyla smiled back at him and led him back down the hallway they'd come from. Shawn started to follow, but Ronan was still there.

"C'mon, it's just you and me now" he sounded happy, but Shawn was sure he wouldn't like that kind of happy.

psychhcysp

Gus followed Teyla around the city. She showed him a lot of vantage points that looked out over the water that were breathtaking. Gus liked to think that California had the most beautiful ocean, but now he wasn't sure. They were leaning against the railing at one of those places.

"So, is it hard to be out here away from your family?" Gus asked striking up a conversation. Teyla shrugged.

"They live on the mainland. I visit them whenever I can." Gus was confused. Teyla continued. "I am not from earth. My people are from a planet called Athos which was culled by the wraith. The remainder of us live here on the mainland." Gus smiled politely, but silently freaked out inside that like many of his sci-fi heroes he was being flustered by an alien beauty.

psychhcysp

"Here you can use this" Ronan said shoving Shawn into a round room that looked a lot like the conference room, but instead of a giant table there was a podium and a small platform. Shawn looked around the otherwise empty room.

"What does it do?" he asked

"Step on it" Ronan said. Shawn stepped onto the small platform tentatively. A hologram of a woman appeared before him. Shawn jumped off the platform and she disappeared. Shawn stepped on and she was back. He gave a small laugh and then jumped off. Ronan rolled his eyes.

psychhcysp

"We've gotten a message to Stargate Command via the Deadalous, they're sending Col. Carter to Santa Barbara to disable to rouge gate." McKay was saying to Sheppard, Weir and Maj. Lorne in Weir's office. "After that we should be able to use the earth gate again and the Deadalous will be able to beam those two to the first planet in the Milky Way with a gate."

"Good, the sooner we can get them out of here the better." Dr. Weir said "I want them confined to their quarters or being escorted by someone at all time." Sheppard nodded.

"Teyla and Ronan are with them right now."

_*Dr. Weir, Col. Sheppard* _Carson's voice floated over the radio.

"What is it Carson?" Weir asked

_*I need ye, both to come down to the infirmary. There's been some kind of accident* _

"We'll be right there" Weir said giving Sheppard a look of concern. They both made their way down to the infirmary as quickly as possible. Shawn and Gus were there too. Gus was sitting in a chair near a bed and Shawn was sitting on the bed.

"What's going on Doc?" Sheppard asked noticing that Ronan and Teyla were there too.

"It appears Mr. Spencer has gotten his first taste of a stun blast." Carson said using a small light to look into Shawn's eyes. Sheppard glared at Ronan, who shrugged.

"What? He was being annoying"

"He's going to be fine" Beckett said "Just don't leave him alone with Ronan anymore."

psychhcysp

"Lassiter are we even supposed to be here?" O'Hara asked climbing under the crime scene tape at the convention center.

"O'Hara we're investigating a crime and we're detectives so yes we can be here."

"I meant are we supposed to be here because technically the USAF is in charge of the investigation." She and Lassiter stopped as they came up to the gate. They were all alone in the large convention center. Everyone had gone home for the evening because the air force was sending an expert in the following morning. The platform the gate was sitting on started to rumble. Quickly Lassiter grabbed O'Hara's arm and pulled her out of the way. There was a bright flash of light and then in the center of the gate it looked like there was a giant pool of blue jello. Slowly the two detectives got to their feet, straightening their clothes and dusting themselves off.

"What the Hell is that?" Lassiter asked

"That's some special effect" Juliet said stepping towards the gate. Lassiter followed her drawing his gun. "Oh like bullets are really going to stop glowing jello" O'Hara said stopped just inches from the stuff. Lassiter reached out his hand and Juliet grabbed at it to stop him, but missed completely and fell forward pulling Lassiter with her.


	7. Chapter 7

"Sir there's another unscheduled activation" Chuck said checking the monitors again. "It's from earth." Lorne was in charge since Sheppard had been called down to the infirmary.

"Let them through." He said motioning a few men down to the gate. He radioed Sheppard. "Sir we have another gate activation. I think you and Dr. Weir should come down"

_*We'll be right there* _Sheppard said over the radio. Lorne watched as the two detectives fell through the gate.

"You might want to bring Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster too" he said running down to the gate. Lassiter got up and brushed himself off and pulled Juliet to her feet. They both looked around.

"Where the Hell are we?" Lassiter asked.

"No idea" Juliet said staring at the four marines standing around them. Lorne approached them.

"Sir, I'd like to ask the two of you to come with me" he said stepping forward.

"Like hell I would" Lassiter said and then took a swing at Lorne. He managed to make contact with the major and as soon as he went down the other three marines all tensed up. They probably would have shot Lassiter when Shawn Spencer ran down the stairs two and a time to place himself in the middle of everything.

"Lassie, Jules what are you guys doing here?" he asked confused.

"I don't know. Where exactly is here Shawn?" Juliet said. Before Shawn could answer her question Dr. Weir, Beckett and Sheppard made their way into the group.

"Are these friends of yours Spencer?" Weir asked as Beckett bent down to check on Lorne.

"Yes Ma'am. This is Head Detective Carlton Lassiter and the beautiful Juliet O'Hara. I like to think she's a modern day his girl Friday to Lassiter's suave Cary Grant like exterior" Weir sighed and rubbed her hands over her face trying to think of what to do about the situation.

"John I think we'll need more guest quarters. Rodney see if you can relay another message to the Deadalous. I'm sure the police department will be wondering where their detectives have gotten to. Once that's done I'd like to see you both in my office" She turned and walked off. Sheppard dismissed the marines and helped Beckett pull Lorne to his feet.

"You alright Major?" he asked. Lorne nodded.

"I think so sir just got the wind knocked out of me that's all." He said. "Anything else you need sir?" Sheppard shook his head.

"No thank you major. Go get something to eat or take a nap" Lorne gave him a smile and then headed off in the direction of the commissary.

"Where are we?" Lassiter asked having recovered from the shock of having Shawn Spencer save his life.

"You're on a top secret air force base in the little known galaxy called Pegasus" Shawn said. "This is where that big ring thing at the convention center takes you"

"No seriously Shawn, where are we?" Juliet asked looking around at the vast open room where the gate was held. McKay sighed, but decided to be nice to impress Juliet.

"He's telling the truth. It's something we don't really tell people about because it tends to freak them out a little bit. Now if you'll excuse me. I have a message to send back to earth to tell them you're okay. Anything special you want to put in?" when Juliet and Lassiter didn't respond he rolled his eyes and went up to the control room. Sheppard corralled the four guests and herded them up to the lift.

"Now, you'll only be here for a week. Meal times are pretty routine so I'll just get someone to take you down. Otherwise you need to be supervised." He shot Shawn a look.

"Do you have a shooting range?" Lassiter asked. The usually cool as a cucumber detective was incredibly fidgety. Sheppard nodded.

"Can I use it?" he asked "Shooting helps me relax"

"Lassie you are one weird dude" Shawn said and Gus nodded in agreement. The two of them headed into their new room. The previous one had been roped off since there was repair work being done after the Wraith attack

psychhcysp

"I want those reports on my desk McNab" Chief Vick yelled out in the police headquarters. "I also want a coffee, and where are Lassiter and O'Hara? I was supposed to have a meeting with them 15 minutes ago"

"Chief" McNab started to say. She held up a hand.

"I don't want to hear it just get me that coffee"

"but ma'am. Gen. O'Neill is here to see you again." Vick glared at McNab and then went into her office. Gen. O'Neill was sitting in the chairs across from her desk once again doing the crossword.

"General?" she said surprised to see him back so soon. "I thought you'd be down at the convention center."

"Yes, well so did I. Except when we got down there we got a look at some weird camera pictures from last night and we found this next to the gate" he gently laid Lassiter's pistol on the desk. "It would seem your two detectives did some investigating themselves last night and they too have vanished. We're trying to get a hold of our other base and see if they're there, but we haven't heard back from them yet" Vick sat down hard in her chair.

"They're missing?" she said her tone shocked. "Are they alright?" she asked looking worried. Jack gave her a reassuring smile.

"They're probably fine and they'll be back in a week if they're where we think they are" he said. "I was just here to let you know and to ask for a few more security precautions outside the convention center. My team is here today and after they finish we'll be turning the crime scene over to you."

psychhcysp

Lassiter lined up his sights and steadied his pistol. He breathed in and on the exhale gently pulled his finger back on the trigger. The gun fired and hit the target right on center. Lassiter smiled slightly and breathed in the sweet scent of burnt gun powder.

"Not bad detective" Sheppard said from his perch on the stairs behind where Lassiter was firing. "You shoot a lot" Lassiter shrugged.

"Some, when your wife divorces you, there's really nothing to go home to. So I just spent my time shooting" Sheppard nodded realizing he had more in common with the detective than he had realized.

"I know the feeling. Did you ever pretend the targets were something around the house she loved but you hated?" Lassiter let out a hollow laugh.

"I actually used those things as targets" Sheppard laughed and then stood up.

"C'mon, let's go have a beer maybe hit a few golf balls." Sheppard said leading the way. Lassiter shook his head.

"Golfing makes me think of my former father in-law." Sheppard winced

"Yeah…. Had one of them myself" He put the radio back in his ear after he pulled off the safety headset on his ears. Almost at once he was accosted by the yells of Rodney McKay.

_*Sheppard, you were supposed to be in Elizabeth's office a half hour ago. I can see you're in the gun range!*_

Sheppard pulled the radio out of his ear but he could still hear Rodney berating him.

"I'll be there in a second" he shouted back at the mouth piece. "Sorry, duty calls." He apologized to Lassiter. Lassiter shook his head.

"I completely understand just tell me which direction to go to head back to those guest quarters" Sheppard pointed Lassiter off in the right direction. He debated taking the detective there himself, but after shooting with him he had decided Lassiter was a little more responsible that Shawn.

psychhcysp

Gus had calmed down a little after the arrival of Juliet and Lassiter. He was currently sitting in a familiar setting, the doctor's office. Well in this case it was the infirmary. Thankfully it was a pretty quiet place at the moment. The wraith attack had left Atlantis with only minor injuries leaving only Carson and his staff there to tend to paperwork.

"So what kind of advancements have you guys made in the field of medicine" Gus asked looking around the room. Carson glanced up from the file he was looking at.

"Well to be honest not as much as you would think based on all the TV Shows that seem to be on." Gus nodded.

"You ever seen Wormhole X-treme? They cured cancer in the last season thanks to a tomato like vegetable. I just think that's messed up" Carson sighed.

"Aye, I watched the show once and had to turn it off because of the outrageous behavior of the medical staff. Nobody could simply do that much surgery without a single piece of paperwork." He shook his head. "One thing we have discovered is that there's a special gene that allows people to use the ancient technology such as the puddle jumpers." Gus brightened at the talk of real scientific endeavors.

"Do people still have the gene today?" he asked

"Aye, several people on Atlantis possess the gene including Col. Sheppard. I have created an injection that can give you the gene with 44% efficiency."

"Is it possible Shawn has the gene since he's related to John?"

"Possibly, but it would depend on which side of the family. There's only a slightly higher chance he would have it than anyone else"

"So could I have the gene?" Gus asked trying to be cool about it.

"Again possibly."

"Is there any way to test for it?" Carson nodded filing away some of the paperwork he was done with.

"Oh, aye. We just run a blood test." Gus stood up, rolled up his sleeve and held out his arm.

"Take however much you need."

"Ye want me to run a blood test, even though you'll never be around ancient technology ever?" Carson asked bewildered.

"Look, Shawn and I have been friends for years. If I have this alien gene or whatever it'll be one up on him." Carson smiled recalling his own competitive relationship with McKay about things like that.

"All right, it'll just take a few moments." Carson prepared the syringe and took a small amount of Gus' blood. Despite Gus' best efforts he still fainted, luckily he was sitting down at the time. Carson gently shook him awake and then gave him some chocolate to eat. "You alright Lad?" he asked patting Gus on the shoulder. Gus nodded chewing the chocolate slowly.

"Yeah, I don't deal so well with blood. I think that's why it's better I went into pharmaceuticals than medicine." He said laughing a little. "How long will it take to find out about the gene?" Carson checked the machine.

"About right now" he said pulling the results out of the printer. "Ach, I wouldn't believe it but ye do have the gene." Gus jumped up and did a silent dance and fist pump.

"That's awesome, but how can I show Shawn I have it?" Beckett thought for a second and then he got a gleam in his eye that no one had ever seen before.

"I'll show you" he grabbed a small device out of the drawer. "Put this on"

psychhcysp

Shawn was sunning himself on one of the balconies with a marine standing guard outside the door. Gus came up to Shawn with Beckett right behind him.

"Shawn, I'm sick of all the stuff" Gus said grabbing Shawn and pulling him out of his chair. "In fact I'm so mad I want to punch you." Shawn gave Gus a confused look but managed to duck as Gus took a swing at him.

"Dude, you're a sucky boxer, you know that from grade school." He dodged another attempt. "Gus, what's going on!" he was starting to get nervous finally he tried pushing Gus away. He connected with Gus but instead of shoving his best friend he found himself being thrust backwards. He landed hard on the floor. "Dude!" he said getting up "That was awesome. What was it?" Gus took off the device Beckett had given him.

"It's a personal shield. You need a special gene to control it. John has the gene too." He said handing the shield to Shawn to look at. Shawn turned it over and was thinking.

"If John has it I probably do too since we're related right?" Beckett shrugged.

"Possibly" he said not committing to anything. Shawn put on the device.

"Let's test it out, Lassie and Jules are eating I think" He started off at a run. Gus looked at Beckett and grinned.

"Lassiter wouldn't punch him too hard?" Beckett asked concern cropping up in his voice. Gus shrugged.

"No I don't think so, did he just say they're at the shooting range?" Gus got a look of panic in his face and he and Beckett started to run down the hall as well. They got to the commissary to hear Shawn taunting Lassiter.

"C'mon Lassie punch me, you know you've always wanted to Lassafrass" He smirked knowing that using that particular nickname would get a rise out of the detective. Lassie got up from the table ignoring Juliet's protests. He took aim and then punched Shawn, hard enough to get the point across but not to hurt him horribly. Shawn went sprawling across the commissary floor once again.

"That wasn't supposed to happen" Shawn said slowly standing up and taking inventory of how he felt. Beckett checked him out.

"Obviously you don't have the gene lad." He said. Lassiter was actually smiling.

"I don't think our week will be that bad" he said "You know Spencer I never thought I'd admit to liking something of yours, but I think Sheppard and I have hit it off rather well"

"Well Lassie, that's because you are both brooding divorcees who like to shoot guns." Shawn said wincing as he rubbed his jaw. "The only difference being the hair. John has amazing hair. Now I vote we get some jello."


	8. Chapter 8

Elizabeth Weir was sitting in her office with Dr. McKay, Dr. Zalenka and Col. Sheppard.

"Gentlemen we have an issue. I'm not sure I can wait a week for the Deadalous to get here because I'm afraid any minute Mr. Spencer will cause an explosion that will send the galaxy into a black hole."

"Technically that's not possible" Rodney began but trailed off as Elizabeth glared at him.

"Is there any place we could borrow a ZPM from for a single gate trip home?" she asked Sheppard. He shook his head.

"The only place is M7G-677" Sheppard said "and the kids aren't super thrilled to give up their only power source." Elizabeth nodded.

"I wouldn't ask them to do that either" she said.

"There's one other place" Zalenka said getting a death glare from McKay.

"Where?" Sheppard said.

"It's on a deserted planet that's in the ancient database" Zalenka continued ignoring the look McKay was giving him.

"At least the ancient database says it's deserted" McKay said "We've never actually checked it out before. For all we know there could be a wraith hive ship or a Genii outpost there right now."

"Which we can check for with a MALP" Sheppard said "If you want get Shawn out of here quickly then we should check it out." Weir looked between the two men.

"Get a MALP ready. If there isn't anything there I want you to take your team as well as Maj. Lorne's." Sheppard nodded and headed out. "Rodney, I know you don't agree with this, but if there's nothing there. There's nothing to be worried about." She reminded him.

psychhcysp

Shawn, Gus, Juliet and Lassiter were in the jumper bay. More specifically they were in the jumper.

"Are we even supposed to be in here?" Juliet asked.

"Do you always ask that question?" Lassiter asked. "Of course we're not supposed to be here. We're supposed to be in our quarters, which is where we're going back to after we check this out."

"Who knew Lassie was such a rogue" Shawn said looking at all the boxes and technology stored around the jumper. "Gus look at this thing" he held up the life signs detector. "It's like some awesome kind of gameboy." Gus took the life signs detector from Shawn and placed it back on the consol where it had been.

"Shawn the less stuff we touch the less they'll know we were here." He snapped. "Or in case you forgot we're not supposed to be here" Shawn wasn't listening to Gus he was running his hands over the DHD in the front of the jumper.

"This is like that big dialing thing in the gateroom" he said aloud thinking things over.

"So" Lassiter said

"So, maybe these things can dial up the gate" Shawn suggested. O'Hara and Gus got a panicked look on their faces.

"Shawn" Juliet said

"We can't" Gus added.

"Well I can't" Shawn said grinning. Gus heaved a sigh of relief. "but you can" He grabbed Gus and sat him down in the jumper pilot seat. Immediately the jumper powered up. Lassiter stood up straight from where he'd been leaning against the wall.

"How'd you do that?" he asked.

"Well before Ronan Chewbacca himself shot me I was looking at this database. An Atlantis wikipedia if you will. These things read your mind if you have that gene thing Gus has."

"So it's a psychic car?" Juliet asked

"Exactly" Shawn said beaming. "Now think of something awesome Gus." Gus rolled his eyes and to everyone's surprise the jumper lit up.

"What the Hell is going on?" Lassiter shouted loosing his balance as the jumper begins to float in the air. Gus had taken his hands off any of the front controls and was sitting there with them in the air.

"I don't know I was just thinking about how it would be nice to go home" With that the jumper began to descend. Lassiter braced himself for the impact with the floor but none came. Instead they found themselves in front of the gate.

"Sweet!" Shawn said beginning to punch the symbols on the DHD. The gate lit up and before anyone could react in the jumper or in the gateroom they were through the gate.

psychhcysp

It was quiet in the gateroom. No one was off world what with the wraith attacking just a few days prior. Chuck the gate technician tried to stay awake by organizing all the files. He'd organized them twice, once numerically and once alphabetically. Then he'd organized them in French. Now he was bored out of his mind. He nodded off to sleep and was only awakened by the gate dialing up. He jerked awake and fell off of his chair. As he fell he could see a jumper briefly before it went through the gate. Glancing at the consol he could see the symbols lit up telling him where the jumper had gone. Hurriedly he scribbled them down before running to the radio. He pushed the button to call Colonel Sheppard.

"S-s-sir" he stammered.

_*What is it Chuck?*_

"Sir we have a problem"

_*What kind of problem?*_

This time it was McKay's voice that floated across the airwaves and he didn't sound like his normal annoyed self. He sounded more annoyed.

"A jumper just went through the gate" Chuck said wincing as the only thing that he could hear after that was dead silence from Sheppard and a slight wheezing sound from McKay.

_*We'll be up there in a second*_

Within minutes Chuck found himself surrounded by Sheppard, McKay, Ronan, Teyla as well as Dr. Weir and Zalenka.

"Let me get this straight" Weir said. "The four civilians, who I specifically said should be watched at all times, took a jumper to some planet and no one knows exactly which one or what could be on it." Her voice was completely flat but she was glaring daggers around the room.

"We have the symbols Chuck wrote down Elizabeth" Sheppard said "We'll figure it out in no time." McKay was studying the scribbles Chuck had jotted down. He snapped his fingers as something hit him.

"You said your cousin was really observant right?" Sheppard nodded.

"Yeah, he always has been. So?"

"So, these symbols just happen to be the gate address to the planet you wanted to look for the ZedPM on."

"How could he have seen the gate address?" Teyla asked. Rodney shrugged.

"I've had it on my tablet as I've walked around. He probably saw it there. They shouldn't be in danger from anything other than poison ivy and sun burn." Sheppard clapped his hands.

"It's settled. I'll take the team and Lorne's team and go get them."

"Why Lorne?" McKay argued "He's a killjoy."

"To fly the jumper home, because I'm not letting you touch the thing." Sheppard said heading out the door followed by Teyla and Ronan.

"John there's one more thing we need to discuss" Weir called after him, but Sheppard either was already out of ear shot or ignored her. She turned to Chuck "Why did nobody raise the gate shield." Chuck cowered behind the small chair at his station.

psychhcysp

Within no time Sheppard had both teams ready to go. He was sitting in the pilot in the jumper waiting for Chuck to lower the gate shield.

"Our first priority is finding everyone" Sheppard said looking at everyone before resting his eyes on Rodney. "After that we can look for a ZPM" McKay sighed.

"Fine"


	9. Chapter 9

Shawn, Gus, Juliet and Lassiter stared in shock out of the window of the jumper. The crash landing hadn't been super bad, but something they didn't want to repeat.

"What just happened?" Lassiter asked.

"I think we're on an alien planet" Shawn said "Gus this is so cool!" he shouted "Open the door and we'll go check it out."

"Shawn! This is an alien planet. Is there air? If there is can we breathe it in and not shrivel up?" Gus was starting to panic and had a death grip on the pilots controls.

"Gus is right Shawn" Juliet said. "We should just stay here. I'm sure there's some way for them to find us."

"Like what O'Hara" Lassiter snapped "We have no radio, alien technology and we didn't leave a note behind saying ran to the store be back later"

"We should have done that, only I would put brb at the end. It gives it a touch of closeness." Shawn concurred earning him glares from the other three occupants of the jumper.

psychhcysp

"Carter please tell me you have some good news" O'Neill said sitting on a table while Col. Samantha Carter leaned over a tray of control crystals. She looked up and smiled.

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is this gate is now offline. The gate at Cheyenne Mountain should take precedence for all gate travel now."

"Great, now let's get back to Colorado so I can go fishing before heading back to Washington like I'm supposed to."

"Hang on sir. The bad news is the Deadalous was involved in a fight yesterday and needs to go in for repairs before it can go to Atlantis to pick up those civilians." O'Neill groaned.

"Seriously Carter? I really don't want to go down to that police station again and tell the chief she'll be with out her precious detectives for another 2-3 weeks. When I told her the detectives disappeared she about had a heart attack." Carter shrugged.

"I'm sorry sir, the only other way they could get home is if they some how found a ZPM on their end. I'm trying to figure out a way to send a message to Atlantis to let them know about the delay." O'Neill nodded.

"Right, do that. I'm going to go buy some chocolate."

"Sir?"

"I've heard it helps women cope." He said walking away and waving to Carter who just laughed and then turned her attention back to the computer readings.

psychhcysp

As the jumper cleared the gate Sheppard started scanning the landscape for any sign of the other jumper. The landscape was filled with a combination of trees, mountains and off in the distance Sheppard could make out what looked like the ruins of a city.

"Any idea where to start looking?" Lorne asked from his seat in the back of the jumper. McKay studied the life signs detector and then glanced at the jumpers HUD.

"I'd say to the north near those ruins."

"He meant for Shawn" Sheppard said. "It looks like there's a break in the trees over there. He pointed off to the left. "There's as good a place as any"

psychhcysp

Shawn had convinced everyone else to open the jumper with the promise he wouldn't run off. He sat on the ramp looking out into the woods.

"What do you think is going on in Santa Barbara now?" Juliet asked sitting on the ramp next to Shawn stretching out her legs and leaning back on her hands.

"Absolute chaos" Lassiter griped. "I bet McNab is in charge now. The chief probably had a nervous break down with out us around. The station is falling into disrepair."

"We've been gone three days not three years Carlton" Juliet said

"I bet robots have taken over earth" Shawn said. "Those really intelligent ones from that Will Smith movie."

"I wonder if they've told our families we're missing" Juliet mused. Shawn had been smiling after his robot theory, but at the mention of families his smile disappeared.

"Ha, I bet my dad isn't even worried I've disappeared." His voice was gruff. "or he's forgotten all about me like in that Peter Pan remake….." he trailed off into his thoughts. Juliet patted him on the back.

"He was more concerned when we told him you were missing than I've ever seen him" she said. "Isn't that right Lassiter" She swung her other hand to hit Lassiter in the shin when he didn't respond.

"What? Oh yeah concerned." He agreed. Gus had been really quiet through this whole conversation.

"I bet someone else took over my route." He said "Probably that over achieving jerk Wilcox"

"Relax Gus we'll be home before you know it" Shawn said standing up and stretching.

"What makes you so sure Shawn?" Juliet asked.

"Please Jules" Shawn said acting hurt. "I'm a psychic." As soon as the words left his mouth a group of men exited the tree line led by Lorne. He saw them and radioed Sheppard.

"We found them sir" about a ½ mile from our jumper."

_*Great, load them up and get back to Atlantis. I promised McKay we'd check out those ruins*_

Shawn's ears perked up at the mention of exploring. He grabbed Lorne's radio.

"Johnny, don't you think since there's no one else here we could stay and explore with you guys" There was complete silence from the other side. "Pleeeaaaaseeee" Shawn begged. Sheppard sighed heavily.

_*Fine, but if Elizabeth asks, we found you at the city.*_

Shawn saluted and basically danced with joy as Lorne rolled his eyes and loaded everyone in the jumper to fly closer to the ruins.

psychhcysp

As everyone got out of the jumper once they were near the ruins. McKay was already scanning them.

"This is amazing" he said "These ruins are actually emitting low levels of power. When they were first built, I wouldn't be surprised if they actually were a self sustaining building."

"That's super McKay, now where's the ZPM?" Sheppard said "Elizabeth is going to start getting worried if we don't get back soon."

"Yeah, yeah." McKay said still looking at the readouts he was getting. Sheppard turned to Shawn and Gus.

"You guys can go look around, but don't touch anything and take this." He handed them a radio. "oh and one more thing" Shawn and Gus were already 10 feet away but they turned to look at him. "Lorne's gonna go with you." Shawn grumbled and kicked his feet and the dark haired major saluted Sheppard and then followed the two friends.

"What can we do?" Juliet asked wanting to be helpful as ever. Sheppard gave her a cocky, lopsided smile.

"You can do whatever you want" he said "There's not much to do if you aren't a geek scientist like McKay or a reckless wanderer like Shawn."

"I'm going back to the jumper to take a nap. I didn't get much sleep last night, Spencer snores like a lumberjack." Lassiter said.

"Sounds fine." Sheppard said still smiling at Juliet. Lassiter shook his head and settled down in the jumper for a nice nap without Shawn there to interrupt him. Juliet came in just a minute later.

"No hanging out with the Colonel" Lassiter asked her laying across the bench seats in the back. Juliet shook her head.

"He's not really my type, and I was tired-"

"O'Hara I really don't care" Lassiter said and closed his eyes again.


	10. Chapter 10

"This place is so cool!" Shawn shouted. He and Gus had entered a large empty room. Lorne was following reluctantly behind them.

"Shawn don't shout you could bring this whole place down on our heads" Gus complained ducking every once in a while as if scared the ceiling would fall on their heads.

"Gus, don't be a menace to south central America" Shawn said "This place has been here for a long time and I don't think I could break it." He smiled and leaned against the wall and promptly fell over as the wall gave way. Lorne jumped forward and pulled Shawn to his feet.

"This is Lorne. I found something I think Dr. McKay will anxious to see." He shone a flashlight in the empty space behind the wall. Beyond the dust in the air they could faintly make out a table of some sort.

_*Copy that. Stay there and we'll come to get you*_

Sheppard's voice came over the radio. Shawn was still trying to see what was on behind the wall that had fallen. Within no time Sheppard and the rest of the teams were there. McKay immediately went over and scanned the chamber they'd discovered.

"I think this is it" he said. Shawn smiled broadly and slapped Gus on the arm

"Dude, we found that. Whatever it was." He said.

"Sheppard come and help me look at this. I may need your unique talents" McKay said ducking into the chamber. Sheppard turned to Shawn and Gus

"You two stay here" he said and then followed McKay in. Without being able to go into the chamber and Ronan's hand too near his gun for Shawn or Gus' comfort they soon began to grow bored.

"We're going to go out for some fresh air." Shawn said.

"Sheppard told you to stay put" Ronan said reaching for his gun.

"Easy Ronan, I'll go with them" Lorne said appeasing the big man. Shawn led them out and around the outcrop of rock where the door had been. Shawn spent his time climbing on the rocks and shouting to Gus to guess what movie character he was. After an hour Lorne looked around and realized they were far away from the rest of the party. He radioed Sheppard. "Sir just checking up on you and Dr. McKay" he released the talk button and listened for a response. There wasn't any. "Sir?" he said again. Still no response. "Spencer!" he shouted to Shawn who had just been doing his impression of the monkey from Lion King for the 5th time. Shawn stumbled a little bit and then turned to Lorne.

"Yes?"

"C'mon, Sheppard's not responding to his radio we need to go see what they're up to." Shawn sighed and jumped off the rock.

"John is a killjoy" he said. "Now I think when we get back to-" He was cut off by Lorne's hand over his mouth. Shawn pulled Lorne's hand down with his own hands and laughed. "Major you and I have just met"

"Shut it Spencer. There's someone up there and they aren't wearing a uniform" Lorne was whispering now.

"You mean like Wraith?" Gus asked. Lorne shook his head.

"It's probably the Genii. They're human but they're still dangerous and they don't like us very much. We need to go see if Sheppard and the others are still okay. We also need to radio Atlantis. Come with me and stay quiet" Shawn and Gus tried hard to follow Lorne carefully and quietly. They peeked around the corner and saw two Genii standing around the entrance to the large room they had found the chamber in. Shawn poked Lorne in the back and was almost shot for his trouble. "What?" he asked

"There's a window thing in the ceiling of that big room" Shawn said "I think we can climb up these rocks and look through it." Lorne looked at the steep ascent they would have to make. He finally agreed and the three men climbed up the rocks.

"Shawn my pumas aren't made for this" Gus said starting to complain but he stopped as they looked through the opening in the stone ceiling. Inside they saw five Genii standing guard over Sheppard, Ronan and the other three marines they had brought with them.

"Where's McKay?" Lorne whispered.

"Probably still in that chamber I can see lights in there" Shawn whispered back. As if Shawn really were psychic two men emerged from the small opening in the wall. One was Rodney and the other behind him was wearing the same greenish brown uniform as the other Genii and carrying a pistol.

"Don't make me shoot you Dr. McKay" he shouted clearly frustrated with the scientist.

"If you shoot me you'll never get that ZedPM." McKay snarked back. The Genii turned his gun towards the other Atlantis people.

"Then maybe you'll work faster if we shoot your friends." The Genii cocked his pistol. "I know there is at least one more of your team out there. He radioed you earlier. I'm sure you're inability to answer made him come running to help you and when he does I will personally make sure he's shot" Gus and Shawn exchanged wide eyed looks as the leader continued to rant. "Now get back to work" with that he grabbed McKay by the collar of his jacket and shoved him into the chamber making sure McKay's head hit the side of the rock wall as he went through the doorway. Sheppard and Ronan both made movements to grab the leader but were shot with stunners by their guards. The leader and McKay disappeared into the chamber again and Lorne turned to Shawn and Gus.

"You two need to get back to the jumper. There's a cloak that you can activate with the ATA gene. Cloak and if you don't hear from me in 2 hours take the ship and fly back to Atlantis." He scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed them the paper and a small electronic device. "The paper has the symbols for Atlantis' gate address and the device is an IDC transmitter it'll let them know not to keep the gate shield up"

"Wait where are you going?" Gus asked.

"To save my team" Lorne said his jaw set firmly. "If I don't go down they'll shoot with real bullets next time. He doesn't know about you two or the detectives and it'd be best to keep it that way." Gus and Shawn just nodded knowing that now was not the time to argue with Lorne.

psychhcysp

"Where is your man?" the Genii leader asked the three marines who were conscious after shoving McKay into the chamber once more.

"He's right here" Lorne's voice echoed through out the large hall. Immediately all the guards in the room aimed their weapons at him. The leader held up his hand.

"Wait, don't shoot him yet, this is interesting. You really should have gone for help. I'm sure there are at least two of your delightful little space ships around." He grinned evilly and eyed Lorne cocking his head to one side. "But you didn't and that's what makes this interesting" He snapped his fingers and his men disarmed Lorne and tied him up.

psychhcysp

"Are you kidding Shawn?!" Gus whispered furiously. They had rejoined Lassiter and Juliet in the jumper and told them what was happening. "We could get ourselves killed."

"I think we're all aware of that" Lassiter snapped "but we have no way of getting out of here without Sheppard, Lorne and the others."

"Actually we do" Gus said "Lorne gave us all this stuff to go back to Atlantis with."

"Guster that would involve you flying this thing and we all know how that went last time. Besides it's not like these are aliens." Lassiter said still irritated.

"Lassie's right" Shawn said "The Genii are only human unlike the Wraith. There's got to be something in the jumpers we can use to fight them with."

"Those stun guns" Juliet said. "Like Ronan has" she smiled slightly as she thought about Ronan then recovered. "That way we don't have to worry about shooting someone from Atlantis by accident. Eventually they'll wake up." Lassiter nodded.

"I still want you and me to have real ammunition on us just in case though." O'Hara nodded and slipped a pistol into the back of her pants.

They left the jumper and snuck around to the cave entrance. Lassiter had found tact vests in the jumper and had made them all wear one, not that anybody didn't want to. He was using signals to tell O'Hara which way to go and they managed to stun the two guards outside the cave without alerting those inside. As Lassiter peered around the cave entrance he could see Lorne sitting on the ground with Sheppard and the others. Ronan and Sheppard had woken up by this point, but they were sitting funny and looked out of sorts. There were two Genii guarding them and they could hear McKay's whining from inside the chamber. Lassiter came back to where the other three were waiting.

"There's only two of them guarding the hostages, but shooting them will alert the other Genii most likely." He said analyzing the situation with his police training. "Spencer you said there was a hole in the ceiling?" Shawn nodded. "Alright, I want you and Guster to go up there and aim at the guards. When you have a clean shot take it. O'Hara and I will pick off any guards that come out of the chamber."

"Shouldn't I go up there with them?" O'Hara asked "No offense Gus, but you aren't the best shot." Gus conceded that fact.

"Jules this'll be a piece of cake. It's like laser tag" Shawn said. "Besides if you go up there there's no one to help out Lassie" Jules agreed to that and then Shawn and Gus snuck up to the hole to look through. It took about 3 minutes before Lassiter and Juliet heard the telltale sound of a stunner. Lassiter rounded the corner to see both Genii slumped on the floor and Sheppard looking surprised. Two more guards came out of the chamber and were instantly shot by the two detectives. Lassiter was ready to shoot again when the leader came out. He had McKay held at knife point.

"I really wouldn't shoot if I were you" he said "I'm liable to slip"

"Give it up Tarrick" Sheppard said "We've got you outnumbered."

"I don't need to give up. I just have to make it back to the gate with Dr. McKay. He's already freed the Zero Point Module for me." Tarrick said shaking his head and sweat poured down his face into his eyes. Lassiter was trained on the Genii not with the wraith stunner but the pistol he'd taken from the jumper. Shawn and Gus watched from high above as the detective gave an order.

"I'd let him go" Lassiter said his voice low and menacing. Farrin glanced at him and then at the entrance to the cave behind Lassiter. He moved ever so slightly and then a shot rang out. Farrin fell to the ground with a bullet in his head. McKay was released from the dead man's grip and backed hurriedly away from the body.

"Nice shot detective" Sheppard said getting to his feet his hands still bound. O'Hara ran over to help untie them all. Lassiter shook his head.

"I didn't fire" he said. They all turned to where Lorne was standing with gun in hand. He had a wide eyed look and slowly lowered the pistol.

"I grabbed it off the guard while you were talking. I didn't think I'd get my hands untied." He said. Juliet soon had everyone untied.

"What do we do with them?" Lassiter asked motioning to the unconscious Genii.

"Leave 'em here" Sheppard said. "When they wake up they can gate out of here and explain to their leader why they have a dead scientist." He was clearly not pleased. Shawn and Gus ran into the cave a little out of breath. "and you" Sheppard growled looking at Shawn. "You had better be glad you got out of this alive because otherwise Elizabeth would have killed me."

"You're welcome" Shawn snapped. "Without the four of us and Lorne, you would still be hostage" There was an awkward silence that fell over the room.

"Let's just go back" McKay eventually said holding his hand to his throat where the knife blade had made a small cut. "The ZedPM is in this bag" he held up his other hand.

"Well I'm not riding in John's ship" Shawn said still glowering at Sheppard. Lassiter rolled his eyes at Shawn's pouting.

"Can we just go?" McKay said "Some of us are bleeding" They all piled into the jumpers and sat in silence as Lorne and Sheppard flew them back to Atlantis. Beckett met them in the jumper bay to check on Rodney and everyone who had been hit by the stunners. Shawn snuck away with Gus before Sheppard could try to yell at them again.


	11. Chapter 11

Once McKay had been bandaged up by Carson he was sent to Weir's office where Sheppard and Lorne were already waiting for him.

"Normally I would the three of you write up reports for me to look over, but seeing as how Mr. Spencer and his friends will be going home as soon as Rodney can hook up the ZPM I would like a brief account of what happened." Weird said looking around to the three men.

"Gus made a shaky landing. We scouted the terrain and found them." Sheppard said.

"and the Genii were already on the planet?" Weir asked knowing Sheppard wasn't telling her everything.

"We found them and since there was no one there I said they could stay while Rodney looked for the ZPM" Sheppard finished.

"While Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay were searching for the ZPM I took Spencer and his friend Guster out to wander around. The two detectives were in the jumper." Lorne said taking over the narrative. With the help of Sheppard and McKay he finished telling Weir how the encounter with the Genii had come out. She sighed when they were done.

"I still want detailed reports from all of you." She said "Now John if you can make sure the four civilians are ready to go. When they get back to the SGC they'll be debriefed. Since we have a ZPM I'd like you and Rodney to go along as well to smooth everything over with the police." Sheppard nodded and McKay looked like he wanted to hurl at the thought of going back to earth. "and Rodney I think you should hurry or Zalenka will hook the ZPM up all by himself" McKay made a noise of frustration and ran out the door. Sheppard left behind him followed by Lorne.

"You'll be in charge again Major" Sheppard said.

"Yes sir" Lorne said. "Good Luck with Spencer sir" he added before heading off in the opposite direction of Sheppard. Sheppard sighed and headed for the guest quarters. Gus opened the door after he knocked and mumbled something about Shawn being in the shower. Lassiter was there too straightening his tie. Shawn soon came out of the bathroom still wearing John's clothes.

"Thanks" Sheppard said. Shawn stopped in his tracks.

"What?" he said wondering if he hadn't heard John right. Sheppard sighed and stood up straight

"I just wanted to say thank you" John repeated. "I didn't really say it back when you saved my ass" Lassiter had stopped fidgeting with his tie and looked over at Shawn and Sheppard. Gus looked up from tying his shoes to watch them as well.

"Your welcome" Shawn said and then ran his fingers through his hair to tousle it properly.

"Yeah, well get your stuff together cause McKay'll have the gate ready to go in about 20 minutes."

"We get to go home?!" Gus said excitedly.

"Yup, now say your goodbyes. I'm gonna let Juliet know" Sheppard said leaving their rooms.

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McKay with the help of Zalenka soon had the ZPM hooked up and ready to go. Ronan, Teyla, Lorne and Weir came to see everyone off.

"I'd love to say we'll see you again" Shawn said after giving Teyla a hug "but I don't think the air force will really let us" Lorne grinned slightly. He didn't want to admit it, but having the civilians around had been a nice break from the ordinary near death experiences he had to deal with normally. Juliet said good-bye to Ronan who was oblivious to the fact the junior detective was flirting with him. He tried to shoot Shawn one more time for trying to hug him as well, but satisfied himself with shoving Shawn so that he almost fell into the gate.

"Come back quickly both of you" Weir said.

"Will do" Sheppard said "I'm tired of this vacation stuff."

"Too bad it took so long, we missed the Sci-Fi Con" Rodney grumbled. Lassiter gave one last look around.

"I don't suppose you guys are hiring" he said trailing off. Sheppard laughed and clapped him on the back.

"We've got to leave Earth with some good men too Detective. Now let's go home" Chuck dialed up the gate and almost instantly they were connected to Earth.

_*We have a go* _A man's voice said from the other end of the connection. Sheppard stepped forward and grabbed Shawn's arm.

"Just step through, it doesn't hurt" then he got a smirk on his face. "much" Shawn gave him a slightly panicked look but it was too late because Sheppard pulled him along as he stepped through the gate. Rodney shook his head and then stepped through himself. Lassiter and O'Hara had already been through the gate once so they both took deep breathes and then stepped through. That left Gus. He hesitated for a moment and then manned up and stepped through.

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Chief Vick sat at her desk. It had been four days since Shawn and Gus had gone missing and three days since her detectives had, but it felt so much longer. She was reluctantly admitting that she missed them. Her phone rang and she jumped slightly.

"Hello?" she said into the receiver.

"Gen. O'Neill is here to see you ma'am" McNab's nervous voice came over the phone. The chief sighed.

"Let him in" she dreaded what he was going to tell her. She'd already received a phone call telling her it would be at least another week before she would get her team back. Within seconds Gen. O'Neill stuck his head around the door to her office. She plastered a smile on her face. "Yes General, I must say I'm surprised to see you here" O'Neil smiled.

"Well I just thought I'd better come to make sure these guys got home safe and sound" He opened the door wider and the chief's smile became real as Shawn Spencer, Burton Guster, Juliet O'Hara and Carlton Lassiter walked through the door. She put a hand to her mouth and then completely out of character got up and practically skipped across the room. She hugged Shawn, Gus and Juliet, but stopped when she got to Lassiter.

"Good to see you Detective" she said holding out her hand. Lassiter shook it relieved the chief hadn't made a scene with him.

"Well, we best be going" O'Neil said motioning to himself, McKay and Sheppard who were waiting outside the office. They turned to go out and made it to the parking lot before Shawn called after them. Sheppard stopped to see what he wanted.

"I'll be right there" he assured O'Neil and McKay. "What is it Shawn?"

"I just wanted to say that even though you were a jerk and I didn't really make things easy for you."

"You're sorry?" Sheppard finished for him. Shawn shrugged his shoulders slightly and then rubbed the nape of his neck.

"I was just gonna say don't wait eight years before you come visit again." Sheppard snorted in laughter.

"Well, battling aliens doesn't really let me dictate my own schedule."

"I could get Gus to send you another email. That seemed to work this time" Shawn said laughing a little.

"Who sent the email?!?" McKay's voice rang out. Apparently he had been eavesdropping. Sheppard laughed and then clapped Shawn on the back.

"I'll see what I can do" he said "Be sure to say good-bye to your dad for me" Shawn nodded and then watched as Sheppard and McKay got into the black Government Issue SUV. As they drove off Gus, Juliet and Lassiter had come out to see where he went.

"So I guess they're heading back through the gate" Gus said.

"Shame" Lassiter said.

"I thought you hated McKay" Juliet said giving Lassiter a questioning look.

"No, he was okay. I just wish there were more men like Sheppard around." Shawn snorted.

"His hair was messier than mine. There's no way you'd be able to deal with that after five minutes. Now I'm pretty sure I've missed at least one episode of _So You Think You Can Dance?_. Gus did we tivo it?" and with that Shawn was back to normal. Lassiter and Juliet both unconsciously looked up into the sky.

"Makes you wonder how many aliens are out there" Juliet said.

"As long as they're aliens like Teyla" Gus said getting a dreamy look in his eyes.

"Dude, you know she was basically married and had a kid right?" Shawn said breaking Gus' daydream like state.

"Really?" Juliet said noticing the put out look on Gus' face. Shawn noticed it too.

"Besides Gus, the long distance thing never would have worked." He reassured his friend. Lassiter rolled his eyes.

"Can we just look at what new cases have piled up since we've been gone?" he grumbled and then turned on his heel. Juliet smiled.

"Looks like you'll have to wait until John gets back before Lassiter is nice to you again" she said following Lassiter inside the police station. Gus gave one last look up at the stars.

"I bet I'm going to be in so much trouble at work" he sighed and then went back into the station. Shawn caught up with Gus and threw his arm around his friends shoulder.

"Dude it'll be okay, just have them call the air force to complain."

_FIN!_


End file.
